Not Alone
by K.K Kitten
Summary: I feel empty ,numb. My body feels heavy, like I'm constantly carrying something that weights tons of pounds. My eyes are empty, emotionless .I'm alone, always have been .Ichigo thought he was always alone. But he was wrong; He had Shiro. ShiroIchi YAOI, Warnings Inside


__Well, for some reason, I wanted to right an angst one-shot. I was listening to music, and wham, got that idea. |D

Have no fear, am am working on Change and my other stories. I just wanted to do something different for a change. (Haha, get it? Working on Change, wanted to do something different for a change...? Lame, I know. But what the fuck ever O)

Warnings; Light Yaoi, Suicidal people, Language

Pairings; ShiroIchi

Song; "Hopeless" by Breaking Benjamin

Disclaimer; I don't own Bleach or the song

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><p><em><strong>Here I lie forever<strong>_

_**Sorrow still remains**_

_**Will the water pull me down and wash it all away**_

_**Come and take me over**_

_**Welcome to the game**_

_**Will the current drag me down and carry me away**_

_**Suddenly the light begins to fade **_

I feel empty, numb. My body feels heavy, like I'm constantly carrying something that weights tons of pounds. My eyes are empty, emotionless. I'm alone, always have been. My life is fake. A fake smile to make you all happy. A fake smile so you all won't worry. _A fake smile to hide the hurt inside._

I'm currently standing with my 'friends' on the bridge leading towards Hollow's Hideout, a wild and famous amusement park. Grimmjow, Nnitora, Renji, Rukia, Chad, Orihime, Uliquiorra, and...

... Shiro. _Does he notice me? _I think not. _Does he see me? _I would be a fool if I believed he did. _Does he know the way I feel?_ Like he would care. He's to busy to worry about me and my worthless, meaningless feelings bottled up inside me, slowly breaking me, crushing me. I won't last longer.

I faintly notice everyone laughing and messing around with each other. Of course, they don't notice me. Another crack in my shining armor. I take the chance to slip away, unnoticed, like I expected. Crossing to the other side of the bridge, I rest my arms on the cold metal railing, leaning over the side slightly to peer down at the swift, dangerous current of the ice-cold water below.

Back at my group of friends, a hear Rukia shout in a worried voice. "Where's Ichigo?" I continue to listen in on the conversation, doing best to hear over the sound of cars rushing by and horns blaring.

"Ah, man, jus' leave 'em alone. 'E's a big boy an' can take care of 'imself, ya know." Shiro. What he says stings me.

"Dude, we have to find him." Renji's dead-serious voice.

"Why?" Nnitora.

In a harsh, hushed whisper, Renji snaps, "He's fucking suicidal. Open yer goddamn eyes long enough an' actually look at 'im, you would fucking notice. We need to find him before he does something and-"

"ICHIGO!" Rukia suddenly screeched, cutting off Renji.

I didn't really catch much of what Renji said. I was already climbing over the edge of the railing, wobbling slightly. I manage to grip the railing from behind to steady myself and look down.

"ICHIGO! DON'T FUCKING DO IT!" Shut up Renji. You don't understand. None of you do!

With a deep sigh, I turn to face everyone. By now they're all racing across towards me, dodge traffic. Grimmjow, Nnitora, and Shiro's eyes were all wide in shock, tacking after Rukia and the others. I let my eyes close and release the railing, allowing myself to fall, fall, fall ...

"ICHIGO!"

_Let the last game begin..._

_**HOPELESS**_

_**I'm falling down**_

_**FILTHY**_

_**I can't wake up**_

_**I can not hold on**_

_**I will not let go**_

_**WORTHLESS**_

_**It's over now**_

_**GUILTY**_

_**There's no way out**_

_**I can not hold on**_

_**I will not let go **_

I feel myself falling. The sensation is amazing. I spread my arms wide and wait for the neck-breaking crack that would soon follow my landing in the water.

"I FUCKING TOLD YOU!" Rukia screeched, gripping the front of Grimmjow's shirt and shacking him back and forth in anger and grief. Their was a sudden blur of white, and everyone watched in hopeless horror as Shiro through himself over the edge of the bridge after Ichigo.

The orange haired teen himself felt just as surprised at what his albino friend did. Shiro quickly caught up to the falling, broken teen, reaching a desperate hand out for his friend. "Ichigo! Grab on ta m' hand!" And I did. Reaching out with the same desperation, I feel our fingers touch, his pale white ones feel so cold, but we don't manage to grab on. We try once more, but fail again. A strong wave of fear hit me when I feel myself splash into the freezing river. I lose sight of Shiro, and almost instantly, a large amount of water fill my lungs, leaving me struggling. I want to swim to the top, breath in the fresh air, feel Shiro wrap his arms around me.

Only one problem...

_I don't know how to swim._

_**Silent I go under**_

_**I am not afraid**_

_**I can see the daylight shine**_

_**And slowly drift away**_

_**Safe to say it's over**_

_**Sink into the grave**_

_**There is nothing left inside**_

_**But I am wide awake**_

_**I can hear the devil call my name **_

I feel myself sink deeper and deeper in the river, yet I no longer feel the since of fear. This is what I wanted, after all. Through the shimmering water, I can make out the sun shining down, bringing back memories of Mother, memories of playing with Renji and Rukia when we were young. I let a faint smile grace my lips. Yes, it was safe to say this was the end. This would be the last day I live.

I feel no hate, no sorrow, no regret. There is no emotion left inside me aside from happiness and joy. Happy I got to meet everyone - Renji, Rukia, Chad, Grimmjow, Nnitora, Ulquirorra, Hell, even Orihime. Joy that I got to meet Shiro, see him, breath him, and now... touch him, even if it was a slight brush of fingers.

I remember when I first met Shiro. I was seven, and he was nine. He helped me get rid of all the bullies that wouldn't leave me alone. Told me a had some skills. From time to time we challenged each other, but he always won. My smile widened into a more goofy one at all the memories I remember before the rush of death.

Suddenly, my burning lungs reminded me of where I was. Unable to hold my breath any longer. I gasp, and instantly, water filled all the space in my lungs. Darkness starts to take me over.

_"ICHIGO!"_

_"Ichigo!"_

_"..Chigo!"_

_"...Igo..."_

_"...go..."_

_"..."_

I watched in horror as Ichigo continued to sink. Panicking, I swam deeper after the male, gripping his arm. Using all the strength I had left, I hauled myself and the teen up, gasping and coughing when air suddenly reached my lung. I swam quickly to shore, dragging the limp Ichigo with me. We both were soaking wet, my cloths making and making a wet, slopping sound as I pulled us up to solid ground, before collapsing.

Everyone came running down, but I ignored them as I rested my head on my friend's chest, my blood freezing when I heard no heartbeat. I checked his neck for a pulse, feeling a spark of hope when I felt there was one. Covering his nose and sealing my mouth on his, I quickly started CPR on Ichigo. Resting my hands together so they criss-crossed, I pulled away and began to apply pressure to his chest, pushing down in quick strokes. Good thing I was trained for this.

I repeated the process until Ichigo suddenly coughed and spat up salty water on the ground. I rolled him over and lightly patted his back to help the process. I watched in relief as Ichigo passed out, breathing normally now.

_**HOPELESS**_

_**I'm falling down**_

_**FILTHY**_

_**I can't wake up**_

_**I can not hold on**_

_**I will not let go**_

_**WORTHLESS**_

_**It's over now**_

_**GUILTY**_

_**There's no way out**_

_**I can not hold on**_

_**I will not let go **_

I woke with a groan, feeling warm and dry. I slowly blink my eyes open, slightly clouded with sleep. Rubbing my eyes, I take in my surroundings. Blood red curtains are drawn open, revealing a full moon floating innocently in the sky. The walls are painted the same shade of red, and the carpet is a plain white. I try to shift to the side, but freeze when I realize I can't move. I feel arms tighten around my waist. Looking down, I feel my eyes widen when I see pale skinned arms clutching me. There is only one person I know with that colored skin...

Craning my neck back, my heart leaps when I confirm who it is currently spooned against me. Shiro looked so peaceful, so beautiful when sleeping. I continued to stare at him until he stirred, amazing golden eyes slowly blinking open. Upon seeing me, they widened considerably. "Ichi? Yer awake? Ya okay? Feeling sick? Dizzy? Yer okay, right? Please, please tell me okay." I gawk at him, nodding my head.

Shiro sighed, tension leaving his shoulders. Fond gold eyes softened and I felt myself being pulled closer to him until i found my head resting peacefully on his warm chest. "Thank God. Never, ever, do something like tha' again, ya understand meh, Ichi?" I feel slightly confused, but quietly agree. I pushed myself away from him slightly to look in those eyes I love so much.

"But Shiro... I don't understand. What...? How...? Where...?" Shiro grinned slightly. "I saved ya. Yer at meh house. Swallowed a lot o' water, but ya seem ta be fine." He suddenly leaned in close to me, and I was beyond shocked when his pale lips sealed over mine. A hand found it's way to my orange tresses, tilting my head back to deepen the kiss. I moaned softly when a slick tongue flicked across my bottom lip, and I responded eagerly, opening my own mouth to let Shiro in. With a pleased purr, he explored inside, his tongue coaxing mine into play. After a bit of fighting, and him easily winning, he pulled away, eyes half closed, breathing heavy.

Panting and blushing madly, I watched Shiro, who grinned again. "Ya don't know how long I wanted to do that." I feel my eyes widen. "W-What?" That grin only widened. "I love ya, Ichigo Kurosaki." With that, he kissed me again, but not before I whispered (and I know he clearly heard me), "I love you, too, Shirosaki Hichigo..."

_Maybe I'm not alone, after all..._

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><p>Not all that great, but eh, I had fun writing this.<p>

ALSO. I ended this like I did thinking MAYBE I could do a yummy yum lemon chapter and make this a two-shot. |D If I get five reviews, then I'll add it ;D

So, for now, review please? :D

Until next time!

Ja ne~!


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